Naval Security Group Northwest  has a problem.  340 Catholics attend Mass at the base chapel every Sunday. The problem is that only  120 of them are active duty, retired active duty, or the immediate family of active duty or retirees. The Commanding Officer of the base has ordered that  the 220 civilians have to go to Mass somewhere else.  These orders were necessary to comply with Department of Defense  directives and to safeguard the proper stewardship and expenditure of taxpayer dollars.

 

Which raises the question - should civilians be allowed to worship at military base chapels?  This seems like a no brainer to me, folks.

 

First, let's look at the simple  numbers. If all  active duty  and retirees in  Hampton Roads decided  to worship at their nearest base chapel, which they are  entitled to do,  the Department of Defense would have a major problem on their hands.  Lucky for the base chapels, most folks I know factor in location when choosing their church, and since so many  military live off base, they worship off base.

 

But some civilians  live in areas where the nearest chapel is  on base, and they choose to worship there. Such is the case at Naval Security Group Northwest, as is also the case at every base chapel I have ever attended in my 23 years as a Navy wife. Civilians have always been part of my faith community. And  for that I am  grateful.

 

A priest who works at a local university campus recently spoke about the most common question he gets from college students. Why do I have to go to church? Can't I just talk to God directly by myself? He explained that of course they could. In fact, he encouraged them to do that. However, he explained that the value of going to church  to pray with others on Sunday morning lies in the nature of prayer itself. When we come together to pray, we are admitting not only to God but also to each other that we can't make it through  this week, this crisis, this life, alone. We need each other. We are all equally vulnerable.

 

Sometimes military people come across in a way that suggests that that they can do it all alone. We are so organized. We are so networked. We are so lucky with all the support structure that the  military community gives to us  every time we move into a new community.  We've got it so together.  Sometimes it seems civilians really have the  life.  They have family that lives in the immediate area.  They have the same job  and the same friends forever.  Their  spouses are always around for major holidays.  They go on real vacations, instead of  spending that precious time visiting family who live some 500 miles away.  These misconceptions  about each other are the tiny cracks in our shared foundation.  These tiny cracks have been evolving into misunderstandings about each other that only serve to enhance the deepening divide between civilians and military within our  community and our country.

 

What better place to begin to putty those cracks than in church?  When we come together each Sunday, we begin to realize that neither side has it all together. We all have our share of problems. Come to find out, that networked, got-it-all-together Navy wife breaks down and cries every Friday night her spouse is deployed. She's just plain lonely. And it isn't always easy to have  an extended family in the immediate area. One of the loneliest rooms is one filled with relatives who don't know who you really are.  When we worship, we recognize our own vulnerabilities, and we join hands and  ask God for help with  the obstacles each of  us face.

 

A base chapel is the perfect place to begin to build a bridge of understanding  between military and civilian families. Our  military leaders already know all too well the importance of  moving forward with this bridge. They even have an  official name for it - community outreach. Base CO's need a little breathing room from Department of Defense directives, so that  a solution can be reached that does not  burn this bridge before we even try to cross it.